This is something all of us are struggling with too.
I've recently started reading an excellent book by Beth Moore called Praying God's Word - Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds. I have not finished it yet, but highly recommend it. It seems to be one of those books that you can read over and over. I'm praying for you Collette and for each of you struggling with this same thing which definitely includes me.
Here are a few prayers I want to share today from her book...
"Lord, according to Your Word, if I wholeheartedly commit whatever I do to You, my plans will succeed. (Prov 16:3) Lord, I acknowledge that the heart of committing any plan to You is seeking Your plan. Show me the right path, Father!"
"Everything is permissible for me" - but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me" - but I desire not to be mastered by anything. (1 Cor. 6:12) Lord God, help me to recognize and discern what is not beneficial for me. Help me to see that authentic liberty is being free to do certain things and free not to do others.
"Lord, I pray You will give me the desire of my heart - which at this moment is to be free - and make all my plans succeed. (Ps. 20:4)"