Crazy Lady

So - the girls and I went to McDonalds this morning and we had an interesting experience.  We walked up to the counter behind an older lady who was there before us.  We frequent this particular McD's for our weekly girlie time and are familiar with some of the staff.  The young lady behind the counter looked rather perplexed, and I soon found out why.  The lady in front of us was either crazy, drunk, on drugs or something, we were not exactly sure which was the case.  She was talking on and on, teasing the cashier about cookies that she was buying.  She was telling the worker, I baked these cookies, they should be free.  I'm a world class baker and I'm going to marry Troy Aikmen.  Becca, Misti and I gave each other the look - you know, that look!   Well, the cashier looked at us, with sort of glazed over eyes and a lot of desperation.  That caught this ladies eye and whoooop she spun around on a dime - immediately.  Here is where the fun begins! (not really but WOW)!   She was a 73 year old beauty (she later informed us of her age) with lots of baby blue eyeshadow to boot!  The first thing she told us was that she was going to marry Troy Aikmen, but if she didn't marry him, it would be Stan.  (Stan who, I have no clue!)  She talked very fast - somewhere in there she mentioned an Indian husband and moving up to the area, looking for a trailer and all.  I had a shirt with butterflies on it.  She actually started pointing at them and counting them...did you know that butterflies are gift from above they are actually angels of free love - or something like that!  By now the girls had stepped back by a wall - retreating fast and ready to run or call the cops I believe!  She then proceeded to tell me and every one there how beautiful they were.  You are beautiful, she is beautiful, they are beautiful, but he is not beautiful, she clarified that last fact - guess she didn't want to offend the male worker by calling him beautiful.  The poor cashier and everyone there were just looking at each other wondering if this was really happening.   Next, she proceeded to tell me how to get healthy.  Drink water and dance!   Ok - here comes the good part!   She starts telling me I should be a striptease!  She wiggles her hips and said she could do it - that is what I should do!  Not only does she say it to me, she turns to the girls and said, she should be a striptease (about me), then to the cashier and anyone in the restaurant.  She starts, yelling - She's a striptease! several times over.  I think my jaw hit the floor!  (so i went from hearing her suggestion that I should be one to -in her weird little mind - becoming one) Trying not to make it worse - another worker comes up and starts to help us - so the lady seemed to simmer down and pay for her cookies.  We got our food and headed over to the drink machines - guess who was still there - yep - the old beaut!  She giggled a little and said  - you're a striptease.  I had, had enough and let her know that she was being offensive.  What offense? - oh yes that makes me think about my Cowboys!  she said.  What do you mean offensive, I'm just fun.  I said there is nothing fun or funny about what you have done this morning, it is offensive and rude.  She left the restaurant giggling.  We got our drinks and found a table.  I went back to the counter to talk to the staff.  The young man said, did she just call you a STRIPTEASE?!?  The young cashier was still in shock from the craziness that had just occurred. It was an interesting time, that's for sure!  I don't know if she was crazy, or just plain odd!  I pray she was not ill or a missing senior.  If that was her "normal" self, it makes me a little sad.  More of her comments were about the Lord, and how we will go to heaven as soon as we die, then quoting Garth  Brooks lyrics, a little bit of hippie talk, while thinking that stripping is an honorable thing.  That is some very messed up thinking.  I will pray for her and bet you will too, after you finish having your laugh for the day!